LESS TRAFFIC DEATHS
According to AAA, traffic deaths in the country decreased in 2007. Well, it’s difficult to get into accidents when you can’t even afford the gas to drive.



DAMON HAS SECOND 'BOURNE'
Actor Matt Damon welcomed his second daughter with wife Luciana today. And just like daddy, the little girl jumped out of the womb, snapped the doctor’s neck, defused a bomb, and tortured a terrorist all while watching Blues Clues.



SILENT BUT DEADLY
A 12-year-old British boy suffered burns to 18 percent of his legs after he blew up a gas can while lighting his own flatulence on fire. I’m sure this is not what they mean when they say "alternative fuel."

I wonder if he’ll get charged with ARSEon?