The 4th of July is going down this month and most people will be heading out to house parties all over the country. To make sure the party you attend is NOT a lame one, I have composed a list of a few ways to tell you are at a horrible 4th of July party:
- The host’s idea of fireworks is putting aluminum foil in the microwave.
- The re-enactment of Washington crossing the Delaware consists of your drunk uncle, naked, on an inflatable raft, in the pool, scaring the children .
- The “party hats” are in fact stolen traffic cones.
- There’s a Happy 4th of July 1995 sticker on the package of shrimp the hosts are serving.
- The host's house arrest regulations require lights out at 10pm.
- You find out Scrabble and Jenga are NOT the names of the DJs but the nights festivities.
- The open bar the host told you about turns out to be the bar across the street that happens to be open.
- Someone starts doing the chicken dance....with real chickens.
- The SWAT team has surrounded the house.
- The decorative lights around the house are the same ones that have been up since Christmas.
- Someone has opened up a tattoo parlor in the bathroom.
- That one overly-religious guest is trying to baptize people in the punch bowl.
- Chris Hansen and the Dateline NBC camera crew jumps out of the closet and starts to interview YOU!
