HASTA LA VISTA EMPLOYMENT
California Governor Schwarzenegger is cutting 22,000 jobs due to the state’s economy. But not too worry. To fill those jobs, the Governor plans on driving by a Home Depot and picking up whomever is standing outside.



IT'S PARTY TIME!
The Princeton Review has named The University of Florida as the nation’s number one party school. This is partly due to several classes offered there. Mainly, Beer Pong 101, Advanced Quarters, and Philosophy: Truth or Dare.



PUFF PUFF PASS-OUT
Concerns are growing that China 's poor air quality could affect the Olympic games. To combat this, China plans on distracting visitors by beating each one mercilessly until they forget about the smog, and start worrying about their injuries.



EXTREME FORECLOSURE
A house built by "Extreme Makeover" for a Georgia family has gone into foreclosure. How bad is the economy when people can't even keep a house they get for free?




TO LIVE AND HATE IN LA
According to the LA Times, hate crimes in Los Angeles are at their highest level in five years. That’s mainly due to the performance of the Lakers in the NBA Finals.