UNITED WE FALL
Miss USA takes a tumble for the second year in a row at the Miss Universe Pageant last night. Miss USA representatives have now fallen more often than Britney Spears' kids.





BERNIE GETS BOO'D
Bernie Mac was heckled by the audience and drew criticism from Barack Obama as he opened for Obama at a recent fundraiser. People said an opening act hadn’t gone THAT wrong since the orchestra performed on the Titanic.





SPIKE STILL STEAMED
Spike Lee says the Rev. Jesse Jackson's needs to make a better apology for his crudely phrased criticism of Barack Obama. Jackson fired back by saying Spike Lee needs to make a better apology for “Girl 6,” “Jungle Fever,” and The New York Knicks.





HELL OF A MOVIE
“Hellboy II” was number one at the box office this weekend by bringing in over $35 million. Dick Cheney said he was disappointed when he learned Hellboy wasn’t a movie about his childhood.






GIVE THAT MAN A SITTING OVATION
Jim Purol, an Anaheim man, set a Guinness World Record last week for "Most Seats Sat in 48 Hours" by sitting in 39,250 seats of the Rose Bowl. Can you imagine the DNA, psoriasis, allergens and bodily fluids that must be sticking to his butt? Talk about reach out and touch someone!

President Bush wasn’t impressed and said, “If sitting on your ass could set a record, MY name should be all over the record books for Katrina, the economy, gas prices, Iraq, the mortgage crisis…etc…etc...etc.”