OBAMA TO SPEAK AT STADIUM
Barack Obama has decided to give his Democratic nomination acceptance speech at Invesco Field, home of the Denver Broncos. Not to be outdone, John McCain said he will now give his acceptance speech in the place he grew up in, fought to survive, and is much bigger than Invesco Field….The Roman Coliseum.



THE LADY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH
A woman, her sister and four kids were kicked off a Southwest flight on Tuesday after they were deemed by the airline to be "unruly." It turns out, the passengers became upset when they found out only the pilots get alcohol for free.



CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
A new study shows that the deadliest job in America now goes to the people who construct, upgrade, and repair cell phone towers. So it appears "minutes" aren’t the only things rolling over.



PUFF PUFF PASS
According to a recent study, almost half of all Americans have smoked pot. The study also shows the number 1 activity of these Americans is driving home late at night, at 20 mph, on the freeway, and pulling over every 10 minutes because they thought the taxi cab behind them was a police car.





MORE LAYOFFS
American Airlines is preparing for another round of massive job cuts. The airline figures they only need half the employees since they make you walk halfway to your destination just to get to the gate.