THE FINAL BEAT DOWN
The Boston Celtics won the NBA championship by destroying the LA Lakers 131-92. After the first quarter, Kobe Bryant was nowhere to be found. “The guy just vanished. It was almost as if he owed the Celtics child support,” said one reporter.



RAINBOW LOVE
Yesterday, was the first full day of gay marriages in California. This led to celebration as gay people all over the state went out last night to paint the town red…and pink….and fuchsia….and lavender…etc…etc




NOT WELCOMED
Rome's diocese has banned "The Da Vinci Code” from filming in it’s churches because the movie "does not conform to our views," said a spokesman. Apparently, the movie needs to have more altar boys.




THE HITS JUST KEEP COMING
Oakland Raiders wide receiver Javon Walker was found unconscious on the streets of Las Vegas on Monday morning. Police reports show Walker had a heart attack and just passed out once he realized he actually signed with the Oakland raiders.




A CLEAN KIDNAPPING
An Italian was accused with kidnapping his ex-girlfriend, only to bring her to his home, and force her to do his laundry. Now, here's my question:
What did he have to GAIN by this? The ex girlfriend will obviously CHEER at his sentencing. Will he serve his sentence ALL at once? He could be exonerated if the TIDE turns in his favor. Maybe he can find love and SNUGGLE with his new cell-mates.