HELLOOOOO NURSE
According to the Bureau of Labor, health care employment continued to grow in the first few months of 2008 making it the most popular industry in the United States. The least popular industry in the US right now?...playing for the L.A. Lakers.





PEACE BEGINS
A truce between Israel and Gaza militants went into effect early Thursday, with the aim of halting militant attacks. President Bush commented by saying bringing peace to the middle east was a lot easier than bringing peace to those big super powers of the 90's...Tupac and Notorious B.I.G.




TO CATCH A PREDATOR
In a speech yesterday, Barack Obama said if Bin Laden is captured, we must not make him a martyr but humiliate him instead. Plans are now in the works to get Bin Laden a spot on “Dancing With The Stars.”




ONLY IN AMERICA
A woman in Ashland, OR says she plans to be in the city’s Fourth of July parade topless, wearing nothing but a hemp G-string. What better way to show your patriotism than to show off those new boobies made from American plastic.




DOG GONE-IT
Leona Helmsley's dog, Trouble, had his trust fund reduced $12 million to $2 million. I believe the dog has appealed the verdict under the “every dog has his day” law. I'm sure the press will be hounding him for information. Maybe a flea bargain can be worked out.