DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS
Over the weekend, a pest-removal company trapped and removed 788 rats from an infested house in Sutherland, Oregon. No police report was filed after they learned it was just President Bush holding a cabinet meeting.

Later it was discovered the house was owned by the Piped Piper but unfortunately, he had been recently foreclosed on and evicted.



HAPPY FATHER'S DAY
Yesterday was Father’s Day. Or as 60% of the kids in America call it, “Mother’s Day.”



IT'S INCREDIBLE AT THE BOX OFFICE
The “Incredible Hulk” took top spot at the box office this weekend by bringing in $54 million. For those who don’t know, after taking a foreign substance, Dr. Banner turns into a big green creature with unbelievable strength and anger. In other words, he could be the love child of Shrek and Barry Bonds.



I BELIEVE I CAN LIE
R. Kelly was acquitted Friday of all child molestation charges. He said he was so happy, he’s planning a tour with Michael Jackson. They’re calling it the “Tainted Love” tour.



A GIANT RETIREMENT
New York Giant Michael Strahan retired last week after 15 yrs in the NFL. Strahan said he wants to spend more time perfecting his new hobby of biting off the caps of beer bottles.