DON'T FORGET
Research pointed to a Dutch woman who reached 115 years of age and remained mentally sharp throughout life as proof Alzheimers doesn't effect everyone. She’s in the Guinness book of records as being the only person who could remember when John McCain was baptized….by John The Baptist.



GET THE LEAD OUT
Researchers say excessive exposure to lead can cause permanent brain damage that may even contribute criminal behavior. After hearing this report, building inspectors immediately condemned the White House.



THE SUPER DUPER STORE
Newsweek reports Wal-mart may be becoming too liberal in their willingness to do whatever it takes to please their customer. Most notably, Wal-Mart’s new slogan, “If we don’t have it, we’ve got underage Chinese kids in the basement who will make it for you while you wait.”



CELEBRATE TO DEATH
Elaine Fulps won a $10,000 paid funeral at Grand Prairie AirHogs minor league game. When asked how she felt about it, Fulps said, "This will be great if they game happens to go in to sudden death overtime."



HIP HIP HOORAY
A Cleveland-area principal says he was embarrassed when he learned the word “education” was misspelled on all his student’s diplomas. It was spelled “educaition.” What’s worse, the graduation was sponsored by “Hooked On Phonics.”