HILLARY ENDS...I MEAN SUSPENDS
Hillary Clinton endorsed Barack Obama and suspended her campaign on Saturday. Clinton said she only "suspended" her campaign just in case something happens to Obama which leads him to have to withdraw like a physical ailment, or he decides to just drop out, or God forbid, he decides to go bowling again.





BUBBA SPEAKS UP
Bill Clinton chimed in on the high gas prices saying something shady is going on with the oil companies. This led experts to say it's ironic when Bill Clinton complains about getting screwed.





MCCAIN UPSET AT HIS "BASE"
John McCain continued to complain about the press saying today's headlines are more about "show" than "facts." McCain said back in his day, the papers only reported facts. Like when he turned five, the headlines read, "Rome Burns: Nero nowhere to be found."




BUSH SAYS GOOD-BYE
President Bush begins his farewell trip to Europe this week by hitting several major countries. "And with any luck, this will actually be a farewell trip and Bush won't return." said EVERYONE.





THE JOKE'S ON YOU
A new airline called "Derrie-Air," which charged people by the pound, has been discovered to be a hoax. You think with the name "Derrie-Air" people would have known it was a scam. That's like making up a cable company and calling it "Time Warner." When will people learn?