3-year-old caught on tape smoking pot

Middletown, Conn. (WTNH) - Police in Middletown, Conn., have charged the parents of a toddler after they found a video of the baby smoking marijuana.
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Wife Wins $9 Million From Husband's Alleged Mistress

North Carolina 'Alienation of Affection' Law May Force Alleged Mistress to Pay Up
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SoCal Teacher Arrested In Alleged Drunken Teaching

THERMAL, Calif. (AP) - A Southern California school teacher has been arrested for allegedly teaching while drunk.
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Robbers called bank for money to go

FAIRFIELD, Conn. (AP) - Police in Connecticut say they had ample warning of a bank robbery because the two suspects called the bank ahead of time and told an employee to get a bag of money ready.
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Man jailed for duct-taping girlfriend’s mouth so she would listen

A Florida man was sentenced to 90 days in jail and a year probation for binding his girlfriend's hands and taping her mouth shut "so she would listen."
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An 11-year-old has the most disgusting shoes in America.

MONTPELIER, VT -- Trinette Robinson of Bristol, Conn., was crowned the winner of the 35th annual National Odor-Eaters Rotten Sneaker contest Tuesday in Montpelier, Vt.
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Burglar enters NJ restaurant, cooks chicken, ignores cash

HILLSDALE, N.J. (AP) - Police in a New Jersey town say someone broke into a restaurant and cooked a chicken and rice dish before fleeing - leaving behind a pile of dirty dishes.
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Walmart "appalled" at racist PA remark

WASHINGTON TOWNSHIP, N.J. (AP) - An announcement at a Walmart store in New Jersey ordering black people to leave, brought chagrin and apologies Wednesday from leaders of the company.
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SEX.com: Most Wanted Domain name Too Hot to Be Sold

NEW YORK (AP) ― The suitors for Sex.com have been put off for now. An auction for the much-sought-after domain name was canceled Wednesday after three creditors filed a petition forcing the owner into bankruptcy.
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Dumb Asses of the Week!

FAKE COP ARRESTED AFTER PULLING OVER A REAL ONE
PHOENIX (AP) - An Arizona man accused of admonishing motorists of traffic laws while posing as a police officer apparently picked the wrong driver to pull over.
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BURGLAR BUSTED AFTER BREAKING IN, AND USING STORE COMPUTER
KENNEWICK, Wash. (AP) - A burglar who spent about five hours on a store's computer after breaking into the business gave police all the clues they needed to track him down.
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SLEEPING MAN SHOCKED AFTER DISCOVERING A DRUNK COLD MAN IN HIS BED
PITTSBURGH, PA -- Police said a man broke into a Pittsburgh home and climbed into bed with its owner, apparently because he was drunk and cold following a rap concert.
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TWO PEOPLE ARRESTED WHILE VISITING INMATES.
GWINNETT COUNTY, Ga. -- Two people were arrested in separate incidents on the same day at the Gwinnett County Jail while visiting inmates.
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MAN ARRESTED FOR HIDING DRUGS IN HIS FAT ROLLS
BROOKSVILLE, Fl. -- Deputies say an inmate smuggled Xanax pills into the Hernando County Jail by hiding them in the fat rolls on his stomach.
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Drunk, high dad leaves baby in oven overnight

CNN) -- A Kentucky man high on marijuana and drunk on whiskey put his 5-week-old son in the oven Sunday and left him there overnight, police said.
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Man fined for 'assaulting police woman with his genitals'

A 28 year-old Lithuanian man attempted to strike a female officer on the head after she was called out to a disturbance at his flat.
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Theft suspect caught with $26K stuffed in bra

A woman arrested as part of a team of suspected forgers who attempted to bilk thousands of dollars of cash from local banks was booked into the Spokane County Jail, where jail employees found she stuffed her bra with $26,000.
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Walmart fires Michigan man for using medical marijuana

BATTLE CREEK, Mich.-- Now that medical marijuana is legal in Michigan, can an employer fire a worker who tests positive for the drug? WalMart says it can, so it did.
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Nurses: Sexual gratification not part of patient care

A Dutch nurses' union launched a campaign Friday decrying demands for sexual services by patients who claim it should be part of their standard care.
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Woman Crashes While Shaving Bikini Line

CUDJOE KEY, FL -- A two-car crash on a Florida highway was caused by a 37-year-old woman who was shaving her bikini area while in the driver's seat.
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Dumb Asses of the Week

Police: Box of marijuana marked with motorist's name
HOLIDAY, Fla., -- Authorities in Florida said a box of marijuana found in a car was labeled with the motorist's first name and the word "pot."
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N.O. man driving stolen vehicle arrested after asking cop for directions
SLIDELL, La. – Slidell police arrested a man last week after he pulled up next to a police officer while driving a stolen vehicle and asked her for directions.
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Police: Man breaks into church to watch porn
AMES, Iowa -- Second-degree burglary charges have been filed against an Ames man who broke into a church where he allegedly used the institution's electronic equipment to watch pornography.
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Burglar trying to steal a car gets locked IN
A pair of Columbia County residents used their car's key fob to keep a man suspected of trying to steal the car locked inside until authorities arrived.
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Alleged thief tried to cash in stolen lottery tickets
Allen Nguyen allegedly stole $70 worth of Florida scratch-off lottery tickets from a Winter Haven Circle K store and was busted when he returned to the same store to cash in a winner.
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Man throws feces in courtroom, gets 31 years

SAN DIEGO – A man who sneaked a small bag of feces into a courtroom during his robbery trial, smeared the contents on his lawyer and threw it at jurors, was sentenced Monday to 31 years and four months in prison.
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BUSTY shopper stunned when mail-order bra arrives with request for private show

A BUSTY shopper was stunned when her mail-order bra arrived with a sleazy request for a "private show". Emily McNulty, 23, found the hand-written message - including a phone number and two kisses - inside the box with her 32JJ bra.
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Oops! Adult Chat Line Printed on School T-Shirts

The annual jog-a-thon at Linda Vista Elementary School in Yorba Linda is getting a little more attention than usual... all because of an embarrassing mistake.
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Are some taking social media too serious? E-rejection Hurts.

If you harbor a bit of angst over Facebook friend requests gone unanswered, a surprise "defriending" or being deserted by your Twitter followers, you're not alone.
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Prom canceled after lesbian's date request

JACKSON, Miss. -- Constance McMillen didn't believe her Mississippi school district would really call off her senior prom rather than allow her to show up with her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo.
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PETA offers trash cans for parks - Under ONE condition

The animal rights group PETA is offering to help the cash-strapped city of Colorado Springs by paying to put trash cans back in parks - on one condition.
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NEW MEN'S UNDIES MADE FROM BANANAS

An Australian swimwear company has developed the world's first men's briefs made from, you guessed it, banana plants.
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91 YEAR-OLD CASHIER FENDS OF THIEF

EAST NORTHPORT, N.Y. -- Florence Critelli grabbed the man's hand and screamed when he reached over and grabbed cash from her register drawer at the Rite Aid in East Northport.
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MAILMAN ALLEGEDLY SNIFFED AND DELIVERED COCAINE ON ROUTE

KISSIMMEE, Fla. - A Kissimmee postal worker has been arrested after investigators said he made special drug deliveries on his route.
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ALLEGED BURGLAR SHOWERS, CUTS HAIR, AND FRIES CHICKEN BEFORE BEING CAUGHT

EASTON, Pa. -— An eastern Pennsylvania man was charged after he allegedly broke into a home, cut his hair and prepared fried chicken before being discovered.
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WOMAN SAYS HER LOVE HANDLES SAVED HER FROM BULLET

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. -– A Florida woman said her love handles saved her life when she was shot entering an Atlantic City bar.
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6 YEAR-OLD STUDENT CUFFED AND TAKEN TO MENTAL HOSPITAL

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- A Port St. Lucie first-grade student was handcuffed and committed to a mental health facility because of her classroom behavior.
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30 POUNDS OF POT FOUND IN JESUS PICTURE

EL PASO, TX -- U.S. authorities said they discovered 30 pounds of marijuana hidden in framed pictures of Jesus Christ being taken across the border from Mexico to Texas.
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NEW BLOG IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION

In the meantime, feel free to read past entries for your enjoyment

2008 NFL SEASON IN REVIEW - PART 1

LET'S TAKE A LOOK BACK AT THE SEASON THAT WAS...



BRETT FAVRE – Favre returned from retirement and after a tough season received a prestigious award. The coveted “12th Man for the OTHER Team Award.”




TERRELL OWENS – In 2008, Owens had more dropped balls than every 13 year old boy in the country combined.



PLAXICO BURRESS – Plax pleaded not guilty to gun possession, and firing an unlicensed weapon in a NY night club. Burress became the first person in history to shoot himself, then be charged with black on black crime.



DONOVAN McNABB – Mcnabb claims he didn’t know an NFL game could end in a tie after the Eagles and Bengals failed to score in overtime. Give Mcnabb credit. Unlike some people, at least he admitted he didn’t know something. We’re still waiting for an explanation about those weapons of mass destruction.



PAC-MAN JONES – Jones was suspended 4 games for getting into a fight with his bodyguard. When asked why he seems to keep getting in to trouble, Pac-man responded, “Well, at least I didn’t kill two people or start a dog fighting ring.”



DALLAS COWBOYS – The pre-season superbowl favorites, the Cowboys once again fell to a disappointing December and failed to make the play-offs. This prompted owner Jerry Jones to say, “We’ll just have to go out and sign more convicted felons.” (I hear Michael Vick will be getting out soon.)

Since the final game, no one seems to be able to find Jerry Jones. He didn’t go anywhere, he just had more plastic surgery and no one recognizes him now.



DETROIT LIONS - The Lions finished the season with an 0-16 record becoming the first team in NFL history to lose 16 games. This record might not seem as bad if the Lions hadn’t lost to teams such as, Devry, The L.A. Sparks, and Boy Scout Troop #124.



MATT MILLEN – Millen was fired as the GM of the Detroit Lions. Detroit became the only city in the history of sports to ever throw a parade for someone who was fired. Millen was then given the key to the city. What Millen didn’t know was that all the locks were changed first.

THE ANNUAL NFL CHRISTMAS PLAY

Scene 1:

Terrell Owens celebrated his 35th birthday on Sunday with a loss to the Pittsburg Steelers. But despite the loss, the Cowboys still made sure to celebrate their star's special day. Here is what transpired:


(Scene: The locker room. Owens' teammates gather around his locker and hand him a wrapped package.)


Owens: "Thank you for remembering my birthday, guys."
Romo: "No problem, buddy. We all chipped in. We think you'll like it."

(Shakes box. Holds it to his ear.)

Owens: "Hmm ... it seems light. I don't have a clue. I guess I'll just open it."

(Opens the package. Pulls out a paper containing that says, 8-5.)

Owens: "I don't get it. What is it?"
Witten: "That's our record dumb a$$! Look how far down we are compared to last year. That's terrible! We might not even make the playoffs. And it was all to make you happy!"
Owens: "Oh, my ... this ... this ...(sniff...sniff)... this is the greatest gift ever. Thank you, guys. Thank you so much."


Scene 2:




This past week, Plaxico Burress pleaded not guilty to gun possession, and firing an unlicensed weapon. Before the arraignment, Plaxico met with Al Sharpton to discuss strategy:

Al: So let me get this straight, you shot yourself with your own gun?
Plax: Yea, I think I'm in some deep doo doo this time.
Al: I got it! We'll just say this is another example of the white man always blaming the black man every time a gun goes off.
Plax: But Al, I was the one who shot myself
Al: Then we'll say this is just black on black crime exploited by the government to make the Black man look stupid..
Plax: Dude, it WAS stupid. I shot myself.
Al: Then we'll end it with, "Plaxico is well educated, well behaved, and was well dressed on that night so he was obviously a target." I mean, it's not like you were wearing sweat pants and slippers right? (laughs heartily)
Plax: (looks down slowly) Uh, yea, I was.
Al: YOU'RE SCREWED! Not even Obama can save you now.




HORRIBLE FANTASY TEAM THAT CRUSHED YOURS LAST WEEK

Seneca Wallace, QB, Seahawks -- 20-for-28, 212 yards, 3 touchdowns, 47 rushing yards
Darren Sproles, RB, Chargers -- 64 total yards, 2 touchdowns
Tashard Choice, RB, Cowboys -- 166 total yards
Deion Branch, WR, Seahawks -- 4 catches, 88 yards, 2 touchdowns
Bryant Johnson, WR, 49ers -- 6 catches, 49 yards, 1 touchdown
Anthony Fasano, TE, Dolphins -- 3 catches, 36 yards, 1 touchdown