Dumb Asses of the Week

'Numbskull' thief steals officer's bag at police party
One dumb thief has been dubbed a 'numbskull' after stealing a handbag from a police officer - in a bar full of police officers.
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Police: Robbers Called Bank To Get Money Ready
FAIRFIELD, Conn. -- Fairfield police said even they were surprised by the actions of these criminals: two would-be robbers called a bank ahead of time to get the money ready and were arrested at the scene.
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Man who tried to break INTO jail gets 15 years
VIERA — Obscenities and claims of injustice marked a hearing Monday for a Cocoa man sentenced to the maximum 15 years in prison for violating probation in a manslaughter case by trying to break back into the Brevard County Detention Center.
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Man's penis freed from metal pipe with industrial grinder

A man who got his penis stuck in a steel pipe had to be cut free by firefighters using a metal grinder, after doctors in casualty could not free his genitals from their metal trap.
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3-year-old caught on tape smoking pot

Middletown, Conn. (WTNH) - Police in Middletown, Conn., have charged the parents of a toddler after they found a video of the baby smoking marijuana.
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Wife Wins $9 Million From Husband's Alleged Mistress

North Carolina 'Alienation of Affection' Law May Force Alleged Mistress to Pay Up
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SoCal Teacher Arrested In Alleged Drunken Teaching

THERMAL, Calif. (AP) - A Southern California school teacher has been arrested for allegedly teaching while drunk.
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Robbers called bank for money to go

FAIRFIELD, Conn. (AP) - Police in Connecticut say they had ample warning of a bank robbery because the two suspects called the bank ahead of time and told an employee to get a bag of money ready.
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Man jailed for duct-taping girlfriend’s mouth so she would listen

A Florida man was sentenced to 90 days in jail and a year probation for binding his girlfriend's hands and taping her mouth shut "so she would listen."
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An 11-year-old has the most disgusting shoes in America.

MONTPELIER, VT -- Trinette Robinson of Bristol, Conn., was crowned the winner of the 35th annual National Odor-Eaters Rotten Sneaker contest Tuesday in Montpelier, Vt.
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Burglar enters NJ restaurant, cooks chicken, ignores cash

HILLSDALE, N.J. (AP) - Police in a New Jersey town say someone broke into a restaurant and cooked a chicken and rice dish before fleeing - leaving behind a pile of dirty dishes.
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Walmart "appalled" at racist PA remark

WASHINGTON TOWNSHIP, N.J. (AP) - An announcement at a Walmart store in New Jersey ordering black people to leave, brought chagrin and apologies Wednesday from leaders of the company.
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SEX.com: Most Wanted Domain name Too Hot to Be Sold

NEW YORK (AP) ― The suitors for Sex.com have been put off for now. An auction for the much-sought-after domain name was canceled Wednesday after three creditors filed a petition forcing the owner into bankruptcy.
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Dumb Asses of the Week!

FAKE COP ARRESTED AFTER PULLING OVER A REAL ONE
PHOENIX (AP) - An Arizona man accused of admonishing motorists of traffic laws while posing as a police officer apparently picked the wrong driver to pull over.
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BURGLAR BUSTED AFTER BREAKING IN, AND USING STORE COMPUTER
KENNEWICK, Wash. (AP) - A burglar who spent about five hours on a store's computer after breaking into the business gave police all the clues they needed to track him down.
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SLEEPING MAN SHOCKED AFTER DISCOVERING A DRUNK COLD MAN IN HIS BED
PITTSBURGH, PA -- Police said a man broke into a Pittsburgh home and climbed into bed with its owner, apparently because he was drunk and cold following a rap concert.
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TWO PEOPLE ARRESTED WHILE VISITING INMATES.
GWINNETT COUNTY, Ga. -- Two people were arrested in separate incidents on the same day at the Gwinnett County Jail while visiting inmates.
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MAN ARRESTED FOR HIDING DRUGS IN HIS FAT ROLLS
BROOKSVILLE, Fl. -- Deputies say an inmate smuggled Xanax pills into the Hernando County Jail by hiding them in the fat rolls on his stomach.
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Drunk, high dad leaves baby in oven overnight

CNN) -- A Kentucky man high on marijuana and drunk on whiskey put his 5-week-old son in the oven Sunday and left him there overnight, police said.
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Man fined for 'assaulting police woman with his genitals'

A 28 year-old Lithuanian man attempted to strike a female officer on the head after she was called out to a disturbance at his flat.
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Theft suspect caught with $26K stuffed in bra

A woman arrested as part of a team of suspected forgers who attempted to bilk thousands of dollars of cash from local banks was booked into the Spokane County Jail, where jail employees found she stuffed her bra with $26,000.
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Walmart fires Michigan man for using medical marijuana

BATTLE CREEK, Mich.-- Now that medical marijuana is legal in Michigan, can an employer fire a worker who tests positive for the drug? WalMart says it can, so it did.
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Nurses: Sexual gratification not part of patient care

A Dutch nurses' union launched a campaign Friday decrying demands for sexual services by patients who claim it should be part of their standard care.
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Woman Crashes While Shaving Bikini Line

CUDJOE KEY, FL -- A two-car crash on a Florida highway was caused by a 37-year-old woman who was shaving her bikini area while in the driver's seat.
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Dumb Asses of the Week

Police: Box of marijuana marked with motorist's name
HOLIDAY, Fla., -- Authorities in Florida said a box of marijuana found in a car was labeled with the motorist's first name and the word "pot."
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N.O. man driving stolen vehicle arrested after asking cop for directions
SLIDELL, La. – Slidell police arrested a man last week after he pulled up next to a police officer while driving a stolen vehicle and asked her for directions.
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Police: Man breaks into church to watch porn
AMES, Iowa -- Second-degree burglary charges have been filed against an Ames man who broke into a church where he allegedly used the institution's electronic equipment to watch pornography.
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Burglar trying to steal a car gets locked IN
A pair of Columbia County residents used their car's key fob to keep a man suspected of trying to steal the car locked inside until authorities arrived.
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Alleged thief tried to cash in stolen lottery tickets
Allen Nguyen allegedly stole $70 worth of Florida scratch-off lottery tickets from a Winter Haven Circle K store and was busted when he returned to the same store to cash in a winner.
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Man throws feces in courtroom, gets 31 years

SAN DIEGO – A man who sneaked a small bag of feces into a courtroom during his robbery trial, smeared the contents on his lawyer and threw it at jurors, was sentenced Monday to 31 years and four months in prison.
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BUSTY shopper stunned when mail-order bra arrives with request for private show

A BUSTY shopper was stunned when her mail-order bra arrived with a sleazy request for a "private show". Emily McNulty, 23, found the hand-written message - including a phone number and two kisses - inside the box with her 32JJ bra.
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Oops! Adult Chat Line Printed on School T-Shirts

The annual jog-a-thon at Linda Vista Elementary School in Yorba Linda is getting a little more attention than usual... all because of an embarrassing mistake.
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Are some taking social media too serious? E-rejection Hurts.

If you harbor a bit of angst over Facebook friend requests gone unanswered, a surprise "defriending" or being deserted by your Twitter followers, you're not alone.
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Prom canceled after lesbian's date request

JACKSON, Miss. -- Constance McMillen didn't believe her Mississippi school district would really call off her senior prom rather than allow her to show up with her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo.
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PETA offers trash cans for parks - Under ONE condition

The animal rights group PETA is offering to help the cash-strapped city of Colorado Springs by paying to put trash cans back in parks - on one condition.
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NEW MEN'S UNDIES MADE FROM BANANAS

An Australian swimwear company has developed the world's first men's briefs made from, you guessed it, banana plants.
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91 YEAR-OLD CASHIER FENDS OF THIEF

EAST NORTHPORT, N.Y. -- Florence Critelli grabbed the man's hand and screamed when he reached over and grabbed cash from her register drawer at the Rite Aid in East Northport.
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MAILMAN ALLEGEDLY SNIFFED AND DELIVERED COCAINE ON ROUTE

KISSIMMEE, Fla. - A Kissimmee postal worker has been arrested after investigators said he made special drug deliveries on his route.
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ALLEGED BURGLAR SHOWERS, CUTS HAIR, AND FRIES CHICKEN BEFORE BEING CAUGHT

EASTON, Pa. -— An eastern Pennsylvania man was charged after he allegedly broke into a home, cut his hair and prepared fried chicken before being discovered.
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WOMAN SAYS HER LOVE HANDLES SAVED HER FROM BULLET

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. -– A Florida woman said her love handles saved her life when she was shot entering an Atlantic City bar.
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6 YEAR-OLD STUDENT CUFFED AND TAKEN TO MENTAL HOSPITAL

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- A Port St. Lucie first-grade student was handcuffed and committed to a mental health facility because of her classroom behavior.
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30 POUNDS OF POT FOUND IN JESUS PICTURE

EL PASO, TX -- U.S. authorities said they discovered 30 pounds of marijuana hidden in framed pictures of Jesus Christ being taken across the border from Mexico to Texas.
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