On-Air Personality, Comedian and Published Humorist William Hale gives his twisted comical take on the latest news headlines. Topical humor has never been so topically humorous.
Friday, May 30, 2008
The Spelling Bee
He Must Be Delirious
Too Extreme?
Dunkin' Donuts has pulled an online advertisement featuring Rachael Ray after complaints that a fringed black-and-white scarf she wore in the ad offers symbolic support for Muslim extremism and terrorism. People were outraged saying if you were going to pull something of the air, it should be her cooking show.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Oh Baby!
Call A Plumber
The international space station's lone toilet is broken, leaving the crew with almost nowhere to go. The three-man crew had to make do with a rigged system when they needed to urinate. Unbelievable. The government spent millions of dollars on this space station and still don't have a pot to piss in.
Sex and the Sissy
New York Steps Up
The Karma of Karma
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Oh BEE-have
A hiker at South Mountain's preserve in Phoenix, AZ, was hospitalized Monday night after he was stung hundreds of times by bees over a two hour period. Police said next time he should BEE more careful and mind his own beeswax.
A spokesman for the bees said he couldn't comment due to the fact it was a sting operation.
Nevertheless, officials have issued an A.P.BEE on the culprits.
Spilling The Beans
Indiana Jones Strikes Back
Let's Keep This Private
What Goes Around...
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
To Infinity and Beyond
The Phoenix vessil landed safely on mars beaming back pictures after it's first night. Upon hearing about this successful landing, Hillary Clinton said the nomination should include Florida, Michigan, and now Mars. "Neglecting the Martian vote is like Captain Kirk not recognizing the Romulans in Star Trek 3."
Bush Going Out With A Bang?
Food For Fuel
A new poll says consumers are cutting back on driving but not on eating. So that settles it. Americans will protest high gas prices, but embrace high blood pressure.
In a related story, a California man has come up with a way to combine both gas and food by inventing the first car to run on Double Doubles. It's called the "In-N-Audi"
RE-Play Ball!
High Cost of Porn
Friday, May 23, 2008
Clean Bill of Health?
We Can Not Accept
Another Meeting On the Hill
Oil company CEO’s met again with congressman on capital hill this week to discuss gas prices. After hearing oil execs and politicians were going to be in the same room, the Guinness Book of World records showed up to confirm this was actually a record for the most B.S. ever to be spewed in one sitting.
Power It Up
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Baby Bye Bye Bye
Auto-Stimulation
Edward Smith, who suffers from "mechaphilia" - a sexual attraction to machines, professed his unusual love for cars in documentary saying he makes love to his car. I guess that gives new meaning to the phrase "junk in the trunk."
I hate to see this guy's friend borrowing the car. "Hey dude, why is this gear shaft sticky?"
Statehouse Smackdown
A New Champ is Crowned
David Cook won American Idol last night beating out David Archuleta by a margin of 12 million votes. Archuletta is now protesting to have the Florida and Michigan vote discounted due to the fact they voted early.
Hillary Clinon chimed in saying, "He lost by 12 million votes? He should go in the back rooms and get the super-producers to over-turn the popular vote."
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Just Un-BEARable
What An Ass
An ornery donkey was tossed in a Mexican jail meant for drunks and people who create public disturbances after kicking and biting two men near a ranch in Chiapas, Mexico. This just shows that if you make an ass of yourself, you get thrown in jail.
The cops then took the donkey's picture and put it on the side of their cars, under the title, "Putting your ass in jail since 1859."
Give That Lady a Hand
Are We There Yet?
Dancing To Victory
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Bush The Ambassador
Nothing But The Tooth
Unlikely Endorsement
Record Turnout
Got Milk???
In Morris, Ill, police say a trailer loaded with 14 tons of double-stuffed Oreos overturned, spilling the cookies still in their plastic sleeves into the median and roadway. The driver of the truck was quoted as saying, "Well, I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles."
Reports showed the driver fell asleep, then tossed his cookies.
Hillary Clinton chimed in saying, "Oreos...on the freeway...in Illinois? If this isn't a blantant advertisement for Obama I don't know what is."
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sir Charles In Debt
Smarter Than The Average Boy
Bush Gives Back
It's In The Stars
I've Got Your Back
Friday, May 16, 2008
Rodman Looking To Rebound
Bush Being Bush
Victory for Gay People
Thursday, May 15, 2008
C is For Cookie
More Charges
Put A Cork In it
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