THE DOLPHINS TAKE THE PATRIOTS TO THE WOODSHED
Ronnie Brown scored a team-record four touchdowns rushing and threw for another -- with four of the scores coming on direct snaps to the running back -- as Miami shocked New England 38-13 Sunday. Fans booed the Patriots. Many left early. The record winning streak of their favorite team was ending with a stunning domination by the lowly Dolphins.
Many Pats fans may think their world is now over but I assure you, there are things much worse than getting blown out by the pitiful Dolphins. Let’s take a look shall we:
Things are much worse for:
- O.J. SIMPSON – Entering his second big trial in a decade, experts say OJ will most definitely get some jail time. Whether it’s trying out his new set of Ginsu knives or meeting up with old friends in Las Vegas, things are not going to well for The Juice. You know it’s bad when during jury selection, the only way to get an unbiased jury was to wake up 12 people who were previously in a coma for the past 10 years. But hey, at least he didn’t kill a dog. Which brings me to my next one…
- MICHAEL VICK - Sentenced to 22 months in jail for dog fighting and killing the losers, Vick is enjoying one of the state’s most prestigious facilities. Or as Vick calls it, "extended spring training." If prison is anything like the movies, Vick is playing a lot more defense these days guarding his A gap.
- MIKE TYSON – The once great heavyweight champion of the world is now relegated to fighting hotel guests at a Las Vegas casino. Tyson said, "The best part of this experience is the all you can eat buffets, even though the seafood still doesn’t taste as good as Evander Holyfield." Tyson went on to say he doesn’t want anyone feeling sorry for him because most of his opponents now put up more of a fight than Michael Spinks.
- VINCE YOUNG & TARVARIS JACKSON – Both QB’s had promising futures and now they both find themselves on the bench. Young with an injured knee, and Jackson with an injured pride. To make matters worse, both QB’s moms played the role of Jerry McGuire the past few weeks telling the coaches and fans, "Don’t boo my baby. He’s sensitive and could cry." Not to worry, even though it looks like both will be out of the league in a few years, Young & Jackson should have a promising future leading the 2nd shift team at McDonalds to the coveted "Most Big Macs Sold" plaque.
- OAKLAND RAIDERS, KANSAS CITY CHIEFS, DETROIT LIONS, and ST.LOUIS RAMS. - Need I say more?
So don’t worry Pats fans. Things could always be worse!
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