Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself

As Long As You're OK, That Means We Can Laugh

Lampshade Conceals Her Brightness

Blaspemy!!!

Court Is Now In Session

Can You Say Flaming?

This Will Not End Well

Must Be A New Video Game

Baby Mama Drama

WOW Mom...Just WOW!!

Now THAT Is Being A Playa

Well, When You Put It Like That

He Has A "Short" Temper

Not Sure What This Dude Is Trying To Say

Dude, Just Back Away Slowwwlllyyy

Someone Should Invent Spellcheck For Tatoos

Now We Know What He Really Died From

Another WIN!

There's No App For That!

Mike Tyson's Funny Ass FAIL!!

Spellcheck Works People!

Silver Lining

This is actually a WIN!!!

Parents See EVERYTHING!!

Not EVERYTHING Needs To Go On Facebook

Just Get It Off Your Chest

Mom Got Her Groove Back

The Ghost Whisperer Objects Your Honor

Deep Questions

WHEW! That Was Close

Father Knows Best

OOPS!

Priorities

ASStronomy

Hey Mom, Practice What You Preach

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NOT Cool

Ain't THAT A Bitch??!!

Consider Yourself Corrected

OMG

Sympathy FAIL

Hey, You Asked

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JUST SAYIN'Comedy Column - NITEGUIDE MAGAZINE - July

The 4th of July is going down this month and most people will be heading out to house parties all over the country. To make sure the party you attend is NOT a lame one, I have composed a list of a few ways to tell you are at a horrible 4th of July party:


- The host’s idea of fireworks is putting aluminum foil in the microwave.

- The re-enactment of Washington crossing the Delaware consists of your drunk uncle, naked, on an inflatable raft, in the pool, scaring the children .

- The “party hats” are in fact stolen traffic cones.

- There’s a Happy 4th of July 1995 sticker on the package of shrimp the hosts are serving.

- The host's house arrest regulations require lights out at 10pm.

- You find out Scrabble and Jenga are NOT the names of the DJs but the nights festivities.

- The open bar the host told you about turns out to be the bar across the street that happens to be open.

- Someone starts doing the chicken dance....with real chickens.

- The SWAT team has surrounded the house.

- The decorative lights around the house are the same ones that have been up since Christmas.

- Someone has opened up a tattoo parlor in the bathroom.

- That one overly-religious guest is trying to baptize people in the punch bowl.

- Chris Hansen and the Dateline NBC camera crew jumps out of the closet and starts to interview YOU!

Dumb Ass of the Week!

PASCAGOULA, MS. - (AP) -- William Velasquez Castillo, 27, is an illegal alien who had a warrant out for his arrest when we was apprehended on Wednesday, according to cops in Pascagoula, MS. When the fugitive was nabbed, he was allegedly wearing a t-shirt with the words "I'm hiding from the cops" written on the front. It's even better when you see the picture on the shirt.
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Bus Almost Runs Over Baby

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (CNN) - Video of a bus driver's close call with a baby sitting in the middle of a busy Texas road has been released.

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Study Shows Men Are Biggest Liars

Men are the biggest liars! At least according to a survey commissioned by the Science Museum of London which quizzed three thousand people about their truthfulness.
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Woman Charged With Stun Gun Attack In Wendys

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. (AP) — A Florida woman is facing charges after being accused of chasing a Wendy's employee with a stun gun when she got upset about her order.
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Man Tries To Trade Baby For Beer

CHICOPEE, Mass. (WWLP) - A father was allegedly caught trying to trade his infant baby for beer at a Chicopee gas station on Monday.
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Prankster Found Not Guilty For Rapping Order At McDonalds

SALT LAKE CITY, UT — (Boston Herald) - Not McGuilty was the verdict from a Utah judge who acquitted a young man of disorderly conduct Tuesday for channeling Jay-Z and rapping an order at a McDonald’s drive-thru.
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Man Gets Stuck In Toilet Trying To Retrieve Cell Phone

CHINA - (APP) -- A Chinese student had to be rescued by firefighters after he got his arm stuck down a toilet trying to retrieve his cell phone.
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Alcohol Abuse Takes On Entirely New Meaning

PUEBLO, Colo. (AP) ― Bud Light may not be advertising these two as "Real Men of Genius." Two men in Pueblo are accused of using an 18-pack case of Bud Light as a weapon while stealing beer at a local Loaf 'N Jug convenience store in Colorado.
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Waitress Fired For Complaining About Tip On FaceBook

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) — A North Carolina waitress is out of a job after griping on her Facebook page about the $5 tip she got from a couple who sat at their table for three hours.
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Man Accused Of Faking His Way Into Harvard

DELAWARE - (AP) -- A Delaware man who attended Harvard University for two years before getting kicked out pleaded not guilty Tuesday to charges he fabricated a perfect record of academic achievement to get into the Ivy League school.

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